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Where Do We Go From Here? A Reminder for Allies

Over the past week, we have seen inspiring and exciting change. Breonna’s Law, regulating no-knock warrants, was passed through the public safety committee in Louisville, KY. The murderer of George Floyd as well as his accomplices have been charged as such. Statues built to glorify racists have been torn down. And cities are taking serious steps to defund their police departments and redirect those dollars back to the community that is long overdue for support. The question as we ride on this momentum seems to be, “where do we go from here?”


Now that we have succeeded in making our voices heard and pressuring lawmakers into the beginning of concrete action, we must begin to attack the root of the problem by addressing the insidious nature of racism in this country. And that means having many discussions. Many white allies have turned to social media and made their voices heard in a variety of ways. I have been frankly floored by the amount of sharing on my timeline of resources for protestors, petitions to sign, causes to donate to, and information for those who have been previously ignorant to this cause. Now while institutions and corporations have been quick to jump on this social justice trend, allies have been quick to call them out on their lack of commitment. But we will have to do more than call out in order to effect long term change.


What I would love to see my white allies do is begin to think about who their community is and what kind of discussions they can begin to have. Those discussions may involve friends and family over the holidays. They may involve current colleges and alma maters. They may involve co-workers or people in positions of authority over you. They may even involve sacrificing bar nights and afternoon brunches to  become more involved in your local government or volunteer programs than you ever thought you would have time to be. These conversations will not be pleasant and they will not be over in a matter of days or even weeks. But they are imperative in order for me to believe you are truly the allies you say you are.


You see, I know you are aware that your Black friends have been taking stock of your behavior over the past few weeks. But we have been taking stock of your behavior far longer than that as well. My actor friends who are sharing hashtags about standing with me: I remember when you moaned that you couldn’t get cast because diversity is so in. I also remember when you loudly said you didn’t think it mattered what someone’s actual background was as long as they looked like the identity of the character they were playing in a show. I also remember when you compared my struggle of being the only Black woman in a sea of white people to your struggle of being the only “poor” nanny in a sea of wealthy Upper West Side residents.


My sorority friends who posted black squares on Instagram: I remember when any conversation where I tried to explain the difficulties of being the only Black girl in a Panhellenic sorority were met with the resistant cry of “we’re trying though, isn’t that enough?” I also remember the shock of seeing you post the n-word on your snapchat stories as thoughtlessly as a recipe for cake. I also remember when a conversation about implicit biases was derailed into a pity party of white fragility based on the notion that racism is about good versus evil.


My former classmates turned activists: I remember when you were silent when a professor attacked me in class for daring to question the validity of blackface performances in the curriculum of academia. I also remember when you wrote an article about a show I was in that erased the existence of Black Latinx while praising the performance of white actors as Puerto Rican. I also remember when you denounced gentrification in our theory-based classes only to promptly move to Harlem and Washington Heights after graduation.


I don’t say any of this to condemn any of you. In fact, you may have noticed that I am standing very firmly by your sides today. I say this to remind you of how far you have come, and hopefully to help you think about what it took for you to get here. I led you all as patiently as I could through those experiences because I care about you. And if you care about me, then you will do the same for others on my behalf. Let me phrase that again. If you care about me, you will meet others where they are and lead them as patiently as you can to where they need to be.


Because for all the hashtags you repost, the petitions you sign, and the protests you attend, you will not have ended systemic oppression in this country. Some systems can be toppled, others must be dismantled brick by brick and rebuilt again. And if you resort to simply yelling at administrations and unfriending anyone who disagrees, you are blowing things up and leaving the much more difficult task of rebuilding to me in your wake. And that, my friends, is not allyship. So in the days ahead, I implore you to move forward with intent, compassion, and understanding for the conversations with those who could have easily been you without a patient voice to guide you.
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